The boring legal stuff.....

Disclaimer: Gundam Wing is created and owned by Sunrise Entertainment, and distributed by Bandai Entertainment. All writings by me relating to Gundam Wing are written purely as a hobby for non-profit entertainment and expressional value.  Distribution of this fanfic is ok provided a) it is for non-profit purposes, and  b) it remains complete and unaltered (including the disclaimer and author acknowledgements).


Duo's Grief for Quatre     Chapter II

Duo remained sitting on the outcrop of rocks for quite a while after Wufei had walked back to the hospital. He was still feeling immensely sad at the prospect of loosing the one and only close friend he had ever allowed himself to have, Quatre.  His tears earlier had now dried up, and although reluctant to admit it to himself, he did feel better for having shed them. 

By now the sun had completely disappeared behind the mountains far beyond the hospital, although the sky was still spectacularly beautiful. Duo noted the clouds, glowing in vibrant shades of orange and red slowly being enclosed by the deep azure blue darkness that would soon bring nightfall to the land.

Unenthusiastically, and tiredly, Duo slid off the large rock he had been sitting on and landed on his feet with a sigh. He rubbed his face with his hands to wake himself up a little, and to wipe away any evidence of his earlier tears. He then ran his hands through his hair and took a deep breath, resetting his composure.

"I guess I'd better head back", he thought to himself, "Cat could be waking up at any time", his thoughts turning toward a positive attitude. 
"I know he totally hates hospitals, so he won't be happy when he wakes up. The least I can do,... we can all do,.. is offer him the comfort of familiar faces."

He slowly wandered back along the stepping-stone path towards the rear stairwell door from which he emerged about an hour earlier.  Although it had been warm, that day, he could now feel the slight chill in the air, mainly from the sun disappearing, but not helped by his inactivity over the past hour. 

Once inside the building, Duo noticed that familiar hospital smell, it was that smell of clinical cleanness, he decided he hated it.  Making his way up the staircase to the third floor, opened the door and walked the short way down the corridor to where he had left the other pilots. The area was almost silent, the other pilots were not there. He could hear faint, muffled talking through the doors leading to  the operating theatre where Quatre was earlier. 

He approached the door, and quietly peered through the frosted round glass window, Seeing two distorted figures, he opened the door part-way and poked his head round to see who it was.  

Two people, a young man and a middle-aged woman, both donned in green surgical-like suits, were standing in a prep room chatting.  On sight of him, they both stopped talking and looked up at him.

"Er.. hi", smiled Duo

"Can I help you?" asked the woman, sternly, annoyed at the interruption.

"Er,  yes, I'm looking for my friend who was a patient in here a while ago, Quatre Winner", replied Duo, stuttering slightly.

The woman looked unknowingly at the man, who looked back at her equally as blankly.

"We're only the cleaners, we just got here!" replied the woman coldly, as if Duo should have known that,  "They usually take patients to the recovery area through those doors and along the corridor!", she pointed towards a set of red double doors to the left.

"Er.. Ok, thanks" smiled Duo "I think", he uttered under his breath in quiet disbelief at the woman's off-handed attitude. 

Duo followed the directions he was given through the red doors, and entered the corridor.   It was quiet, but brightly lit with doors dotted randomly both sides along it's fairly distant length.  He stood and looked in both directions, but could see
no-one. The corridor seemed to go on forever on both directions.

"Heck!", he cussed to himself, running one hand through his hair. "So do I go door-to-door or what?" he thought to himself.

Just then he heard a familiar, distant female voice call him.

"Hey Duo!"

Duo turned to see Sally standing at the far end of the corridor and beckoning him to join her.

"Sa......Sally?" he called back, inquisitively.

He began walking quickly towards Sally, who waited with her arms folded over a clipboard, pinning it to her chest.
As he approached her, Sally glanced Duo one of her compassionate smiles. She was wearing a white doctors overall, her long silky hair tied up in a ponytail.   
She had been working at the hospital for the past few months and her shift that day had only recently started.   She had learned of Quatre's accident whilst checking the new admissions list about half an hour previously. On learning, She immediately had her duties transferred to the intensive care ward to supervise his care.

"Oh Duo, I'm so sorry to hear what happened to Quatre, I know what great friends you two are". She squeezed his arm gently.

Duo nodded,
"Thanks Sal", he replied, looking at the floor.

"I only found out myself, when my shift started a while ago, or I would have got here much sooner", she explained apologetically.

"It's ok, ...you know where he is now?" asked Duo.

"Yes, he's in intensive care" replied Sally.

Duo looked around the walls for a sign to indicate where the intensive care ward was.

"Which way is that?", asked Duo

"It's down that corridor on the right", replied Sally, "But you shouldn't see him yet"

"Why not?", asked Duo 

Sally sighed and paused for a moment, taking time to think about what she would say to him.
"Quatre is in fairly bad shape right now Duo, he's unconscious and he could be that way for days.  The only thing he needs right now is undisturbed rest".

Duo looked disappointed, but also understood why Sally was dissuading him.

"I understand Sal", he paused,  "But do you think it would be ok to just see him for a minute" Duo became hesitant, "I know he's unconscious, ...but....there's.... well.... err... I just need to err.....  say some ... things..."  

Sally smiled,  then sighed reluctantly,  She knew Duo would pester her to see Quatre until she gave in to him.

"Ok,... come with me, I'll see what I can do", she beckoned for him to walk with her.



Moments later they were stood outside an anonymous closed door on the intensive care ward.  Sally had had a quiet word with the nurse on the desk and negotiated a brief, unofficial visit for Duo.

"Just a few minutes ok Duo", sally cautioned, "remember, he needs total rest".

Duo Nodded, a little apprehensive of what he would find on the other side of the door. 

 She opened the door and allowed him to enter the room.  

"Aren't you coming in?", asked Duo, looking back.

"There's something I have to do, but I'll be back very shortly" she replied. 
Sally pulled the door up behind him and headed back towards the nurse on the desk. 


The room was dimly lit, quite a contrast from the bright corridor outside. A vast array of monitoring and life-support equipment surrounded the bed on which lay an unconscious Quatre.
 Duo hesitantly stepped closer and almost went into shock as he took full sight of the bewildering array of tubes and wires attached to his friend.

"Oh, ....Cat!", he gasped, his face aghast.

For a while, Duo just stood there, motionless, trying to come to terms with seeing Quatre, his closest friend, lying there so helpless. His heart thumped, his stomach knotted and he felt wretched inside. To compound matters, he felt the sadness welling up inside of him again, but this time Duo was determined not to let it get the better of him.  He took a deep breath and looked up.

"Come on Maxwell, pull it together", he whispered to himself, his voice on the edge of cracking "You know you're stronger than this".

Regaining some control,  Duo looked back down at Quatre, stepping closer to the bed. 
Apart from the array of monitoring equipment and tubes, Quatre himself didn't look all that injured, Duo thought to himself, although Sally had explained that most of his injuries were internal.
Quatre's eyes were closed and he appeared to be sleeping peacefully

"What are you thinking right now Cat?", whispered Duo, "are you dreaming,... are you at peace,...... or are you afraid?, ........... don't be afraid Cat, .... You mustn't be afraid"

Duo looked down at Quatre's hand, then looked round to see if anyone was watching. When he was satisfied nobody was around, Duo gently slipped his upturned palm under Quatre's fingers, and placed his other hand over the top, gently cradling Quatre's lukewarm hand between his palms. 

He leaned closer to Quatre's face.
"Cat,....... You....... You gotta get better buddy", he whispered quietly as if it was a secret he didn't want anyone else to hear.
He squeezed Quatre's hand gently as he felt the sadness rush back, and his eyes begin to water again.
"You hear me Quatre?", he whispered again, his voice starting to crack, "You've gotta get through this,........You've gotta win this battle......  because,...."
Duo gave a long sniff in a fruitless attempt to prevent the tears from falling down his cheeks once again.
"Because.... You're ......  you're the only family I've got, Cat", his whisper now barely audible. 
"My only family,...Quatre....." Duo paused to try to regain his composure enough to finish what he wanted to say.  He sniffed again.
"I cant go through,....... Go through loosing the only family I have,.....  not again...., not again Cat,......I couldn't survive that,.... not  a second time" Duo tightly closed his eyes and allowed the few tears to run down his face, desperately trying not to shed any more. 

The feelings of isolation, of being alone were intensifying rapidly. Duo decided he would not be able to say any more without cracking up again, so he just kept silent. 

Deciding to pull himself together before Sally got back and saw him, he wiped his face dry with the sleeve of his arm, sniffing again, doing his best to quell the nagging sadness that seemed to keep coming back to bother him again and again.
To some degree he was successful, and with the sadness subsiding again, he stood there for some time, just gathering and contemplating the thoughts going around and around in his head.

In his distracted state of mind, Duo didn't notice Sally enter the room. She stood beside him and placed her hand on his shoulder, startling him a little.  Duo, realised he was still holding on to Quatre's hand, and quickly let go. Any thoughts of sadness were quickly overrun by a sense of embarrassment on Duo's part.
He was a little mad with himself for being caught off-guard again, now twice in the same day. 

Sally could see Duo was embarrassed, and upset, she could also make out he had shed tears, because his eyes were a sparkled glaze.

"It's OK Duo", assured Sally, smiling, gently squeezing his shoulder "Really, it's totally ok."
She Sighed sympathetically, "This must be such a strain on you, this is not an easy thing to come to terms with. No matter how tough you are, Remember Duo, you're still a human being, a compassionate one at that - don't  forget that".

Duo nodded, looking at the ground, still a little embarrassed. Despite Sally's words of reassurance, he really felt like he'd been caught with his pants down.

The volley of emotions swimming around inside Duo's head was getting to be more than he could deal with. He looked ill. 

"When was the last time you slept Duo?", asked sally, concerned.

"eh?.. oh... couple of days ago I guess, .... I think, ... actually, I can't remember", he replied vaguely,  sighing.

"I'm not going to lecture you Duo, but you'll feel a lot better if you get some rest. Why don't you go home, there's nothing more you can do here."

Sally gently pushed on his arm, persuading him towards the door, Duo followed her lead but on reaching the door, he turned to look back at Quatre.

"He'll,.... He will be.....?"

Sally  put her finger to duo' lips, stopping him mid-question. She was way-ahead of him.

"Yes, Duo,  he will be ok,... but he HAS to rest", she reiterated once more, "Don't worry, you will be the first to know of any change - I promise"

Duo took another moment to look back at Quatre, wondering if this would be the last time he would see him, then reluctantly turned and re-entered the corridor.

Sally took his arm in hers and walked with him, slowly along the corridor.

"You know the others are as numb as you are right now?", She said rhetorically

"I know", replied Duo quietly, "It's normally so darn hard to tell with those guys, they never show any kind of emotion, ...but I know them well enough to understand they are deeply troubled about it."  
Duo thought about it some more,  "Actually,  I first knew by the look on their faces when we pulled Quatre out of Sandrock after he crashed,  Even Heero went white", Duo reminisced about the rescue, hours earlier.

Sally nodded

"How come you know about them feeling bad?", asked Duo.

"I ran into them just before I found you", she replied, "They all looked pretty depressed." She replied.

"Do you know where they were headed?", asked Duo

"Yes, they were going to the cafeteria downstairs for coffee, they're probably still there".
Duo stopped walking. "I'd better go and find out their plans", he replied, a little more energetically.

Sally let go of Duo's arm, "good idea, ...well, ...I have work to do", she said.

Duo hesitated for a second, then donned his "grateful" mask.  

"Sal,  ..Thanks for allowing me to see Cat,  ....it meant a lot", smiled Duo.

"I've seen how close you two are," she replied, smiling, "You don't need to thank me Duo, it was the least I could do".  She reached forward and gave him a gentle hug.  Duo openly returned the hug, resting his chin on her shoulder, closing his eyes, soaking up what comfort he could from their warm embrace.  .
"Just promise to let me know if there is any change, day or night, doesn't matter ok?" spoke Duo softly. 

Sally nodded, pulling away gently, "I promise, Duo, the slightest change, you'll hear about it.  You're staying at Quatre's mansion tonight I assume?"

"You know, I hadn't really thought that far ahead", replied Duo, "But yes, I guess so."
Duo thought about it for a moment, "I guess the others guys will need to stay there too.  Jeeze!, I've got some organising to do!" he grinned slightly.

For the first time in hours, Duo realised he was once again projecting the 'cheery' Maxwell mask. His instinctive personality had come back, at least for now.




Completed 6th May 2001.  Part III on the way soon!.
What do you think so far? Please e-mail the author with comments Baerwolf@usa.net